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IN PRAISE OF NEPOTISM
Kalam Nishan Singh
The reality is
there is only one power centre, and that is Mr Badal. He does
whatever he feels is right. That is the only truth. Someone may
claim he can do anything in this government, but nothing will happen
till he (Badal) agrees to it. So this is a wrong perception… the
actual power centre is only Mr Badal
Nepotism is an interesting phenomenon any day, and there has been
some serious scholarly work on the merits of nepotism in the last
few years. Americans censure nepotism on the one hand and practice
it as much as they can on the other, a fact brought to the lime
light by Adam Bellow in his remarkable book “In Praise of Nepotism”,
but then even though we are living, as Adam Bellow argued, in a
nepotistic Golden Age, it is only the merit based good nepotism
which can add value.
In
India, hurling the charge of nepotism on a rival politician is de
rigeur. At the Center, you can always hurl the dynasty slur on
the Gandhis, while in Punjab, the 'Kaka' variety which is trying to
grow faster than any other lesser nepotistic product (even though
related to the family) is getting the flak continuously.
But
the fun starts when Kaka metamorphoses into Kaka Ji and soon into
Pardhan Ji. Ditto at the Center. Rahul Baba is trying to look
serious by remaining silent most of the time, perhaps realising that
his mother has tried this technique of remaining mum for years
before starting reading out written-in-Roman Hindi speeches and
convincing people that she was more national than any Partap Narain
Mishra of Hindi-Hindu-Hindustan variety.
 Last week, the fun reached its crescendo. Rahul Kaka Ji, 'nay,
General Secretary Ji of Congress, opened his mouth. Cue for Kaka Ji
turned Pardhan Ji to open his also. Major comic writers fell by the
way side as politicians, known for their looting-thieving ways,
threatened to completely hijack the Great Indian Laughter Challenge.
“You people say I don't know how to speak. Now let me show you how I
speak”. This was Rahul Gandhi. “Aap logon ko lagta hai mujhe
bolna nahin ata. Ab main aapko bolke dikhata hooní.” As everyone
laughed at such serious stuff, Rahul Ji suddenly gained wisdom in a
split second, and followed it up with one of the most eloquent acts.
The act of total silence. His way of showing that he could speak was
just to tell us that he can. We heard him speak on TV channels, on
India's myriad radio frequencies, and concluded that yes, indeed, he
could speak. The joy was as palpable as that of the mother who hears
the child uttering the first meaningful sound and says a silent
thanks to God for giving her an offspring which is not dumb, which
could make reasonably cogent noises. Yes, Rahul Baba, you could
speak. We just wanted to hear it from you directly. When next? May
be you will say 'Namaste Ji' to an old woman in tatters in Rai
Bareilly when you go there next?
But
apna Sukhbir Singh Badal alias 'Kaka Ji' alias Pardhan Sahib beat
Rahul Gandhi at the game just as the brave Akalis have always beaten
the Congress. By doing what they do better than them. (Akalis
destroy Panth better than Congress, defend ‘Cats’-rearing cops
better than Congress, attack other Akali factions more viciously
than Congress, and encourage deras etc more religiously than
Congress!).
So
Sukhbir Singh Badal did much better than Rahul Gandhi. He opened his
mouth, and kept it open. At least till your jaw dropped. Incredible
talk comes easy to Sukhbir. He started his proactive role in
electioneering by by airing a very considered view that Captain
Amarinder Singh was a Magarmach. The best he could come up with when
very very angry during Amarinder Singh's regime was an extremely
well thought out strategic plan of releasing some rats into the
pyajamas of the Patiala's royal scion. As we told you, he has a
remarkable success rate in ensuring that your jaw drops.
So
when the Hindustan Times newspaper's Chandigarh edition decided to
interview Sukhbir Singh Badal, this was his golden opportunity to
tell the world about his jaw-dropping skills. Shame on a liar who
gets caught on a lie-detector machine! Professional liar will beat
the machine hands down. Sukhbir Singh Badal is a thorough
professional by now.
For
years, Parkash Singh Badal has been facing allegations that he has
become the sole power centre in the party and everyone else is a
broker lining up the route to that power centre. Of course Badal Sr.
has always denied the allegations, even when he chucked out turf
rival Gurcharan Singh Tohra in a fashion most humiliating. Tohra
Sahib had said exactly the same thing – that Badal has become the
sole power center.
But
listen to Sukhbir Singh Badal. Unadulterated. “People may think
there are too many power centres in the government, but the reality
is there is only one, and that is Chief Minister Parkash Singh Badal.
He does what he feels is right. That is the only truth.”
 If
your jaw is stuck in a lock-grid and refusing to drop, carry on. In
response to another question, Sukhbir shoots off: “Those who
question my functioning must know the party is supreme and
government is subservient to it…” Of course he stated very clearly
that he is the man who decides in the party.
And
his ideals? Oh, Sukhbir may be a globe-trotter (Dubai and London
together make for his globe) but he knows he should never venture
too far alone. The Kaka variety is always PG rated. “My ideal in
politics is my father... he is an institution in himself. He always
told me never to compete with anybody. He wanted me to set bigger
targets for yourself. He said if you compete with somebody, you will
never grow...”. Sukhbir's an obedient son too. Never competed with
even Manpreet Singh Badal.
“(D)uring last Assembly elections (i)f you look at the planning,
manifesto, overall vision…, I played a major role in deciding them.
It was all drastically changed from what it had been before.
Whatever dreams were presented to the people of Punjab, were mine.
Now, when we are in power, it is our responsibility to fulfil those.
Earlier, I was one of them… but now as the working president, I am
completely at the helm of affairs.”
We
knew that already.
So
does everyone else. You indeed are at the helm of affairs, Sukhbir.
Only thing is that so far we thought that was a major allegation
against you. Now we know it is your claim as well.
“Unfortunately, it has become a trend that most political parties
today don't fulfil their commitments… that has been the history of
India for the past 50 years… I want to change that.” You, Sukhbir?
When asked about his ambitions to become the next Chief Minister,
Sukhbir did not deny it at all.
When asked about the oft-repeated comment that he is seen as an
“extraconstitutional authority” running the government, Sukhbir
opened his mouth merely to confirm it. He said, and reliable sources
said he kept a straight face while saying it, “The party is supreme
and the government subservient to it… I would like to say it is the
party that decides all programmes and policies, and we as a party
are just monitoring whether our commitments are being implemented or
not.”
Then came the killer question: “Who is your ideal in politics? Why?”
Sukhbir of course plumped for his father: “My father... he is an
institution in himself.”
As
always, the young Kaka variety never lacks in being an amusing
spectacle.
“And any other politician?” The reporter knew Sukhbir is rushing
into the trap.
“Vajpayee… he always thought big. He is a statesman.” This was the
de facto president of the Akali Dal, telling the people and his own
community that his ideal was a top leader of the RSS, an
organisation that the SGPC president, a hand-picked puppet of Badal,
recently termed as Enemy Number One of the Sikhs.
 It
is not clear whether the reporter was a political innocent or a rank
shrewd man or just a kind hearted soul because his next question was
about Akali Dal having too many power centres. “There are too many
power centres in the SAD-BJP government. Badal, Sukhbir Badal,
Manoranjan Kalia, Manpreet Badal...,” the reporter said by way of a
question.
But
Sukhbir was in no mood not to make the jaw drop. “People may think
that, but the reality is there is only one power centre, and that is
Mr Badal. He does whatever he feels is right. That is the only
truth. Someone may claim he can do anything in this government, but
nothing will happen till he (Badal) agrees to it. So this is a wrong
perception… the actual power centre is only Mr Badal.” Believe us,
you are reading the, as they say in subcontinental version of
butchered English language, the “exact same version” of the
interview as published in the Hindustan Times, Chandigarh, Monday,
November 5, 2007, Page 2.
As
a parting shot came the question: “What lessons have you drawn from
the previous five years of the SAD-BJP government?” Sukhbir: “That
time I was nobody, had no responsibility… no targets, plans,
ambitions. This time, being the president, I have set goals and want
to achieve them.”
Want more bon mots? “Every politician who joins politics… joins with
the ambition to be either MLA, minister or the chief minister.”
Oh
really, Sukhbir? You sure know a lot about politics. Tell your
father too to learn to speak the truth like you. Poor guy keeps
saying he is a sewak of the sangat. And some day, when you have
nothing better to do, just say a hellow to Adam Bellow. You are
quite an education.
14
November, 2007
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